This is what I woke up to this morning.
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Way back when, over two years ago now, I shared with you guys a little project I was doing with our daughter Essley. At that time I was a new mama, and pretty much every parent I knew was repeatedly telling me I needed to pay attention to the details as much as I possibly could because our baby would change so much, so quickly, that we wouldn’t know what hit us. And while parental advice should be taken with a grain of salt (truly), this was something that we learned to be very true. So we decided to take a weekly picture of her for one year. In the end, it was quite incredible (you can see a video of all the pics put together here).
When I was pregnant with Emmett, I told Robbie that there was no way in all hell I was doing weekly pictures again. I’ll be honest with you guys – by the time we got to 52 weeks with Essley I was so. over. it. It felt a like a chore. For her second year we did monthly pictures which was much more feasible. But once Emmett was born, and we watched him change so much just in his first few days of life, we decided that we needed to do it again. And I know we’ll be so glad we did.
I likely won’t share one of these again here until we’ve completed the entire year, but I remember sharing the first 12 weeks of Essley here so I thought I’d do the same for Emmett. Babies change more in the first 3 months than the rest of the first couple of years combined. It’s intense, man. Looking at his first week picture in comparison with the most recent (he’s actually 13 weeks now) is sort of mind blowing. And for those of you who know my husband in person or have seen photos of him, I think you’ll agree that this child is basically Robbie’s clone. I mean, seriously – put Robbie in a shrinking machine and you’ll get Emmett. It’s hilarious and awesome.
It will be really cool to show these to our kids when they’re grown up, I think. When my sister and I were babies, there was nothing even close to what we have now, literally at our fingertips, in terms of recording the transformation of our children. As always, thanks for following along on our journey!
I have a pit/greyhound 9 years old
She is a wonderful people dog BUT…
A Crazy Animal Aggressive Dog
Hates other animals and wants to kill them
this makes for tough dog walks
just bought a walk your dog with love harness
works great for walking but as soon as she sees another dog
she still goes nuts spinning and pulling
will a prong collar work I am concerned she will hurt herself ??
BAD RAP Blog
When I was in college, I decided to conquer my fear of drowning by getting certified in scuba diving. In retrospect, I really had no business being there, but I guess that’s what your twenties is for.
At one point during the training, you have to take your mask entirely off and then get it back on. No biggie, right? I was not a water person and had no idea what was going to happen. When I removed it from my face, my nose filled with water and I found I couldn’t inhale through my regulator. My throat was just closed up.
Of course, I panicked. My instinct was to leap up to the top of the pool as quickly as possible and grab a breath of air, but I forced myself to take a moment, realize the problem, and plug my nose so I could get the mask back on and pass the test. But I never forgot the sheer terror of that first moment when your body is screaming at you, “You’re DROWNING you fool! Fly!”
Lots of diving safety training is about how to get safely to the surface when the poop hits the fan, and one of the most important tenets is to work your way slowly and methodically through your problem so you can surface slowly. Running out of oxygen at depth is a big one. If you come up from the depths too quickly, you risk the bends- when dissolved gases turn into bubbles inside your body as the pressure changes. It’s Not A Good Thing. Remaining calm in a trying moment a good skill to have not just in diving, but in life.
Of all the scary things I have been through since then, the near-misses in the car or the dropped pedicles on a fat dog spay, none hit me with that same physical sense of drowning until one year ago, when I got the news out of the blue that my mother had a brain tumor. I was more than scared. I was terrified. I felt like someone had dropped a weight directly on my lap and plunged me down to the bottom of the ocean.
I get why people tend to freeze, or run in circles when things go haywire. The adrenaline does weird things to your body, and it takes real conscious effort to talk yourself off the ledge. I get now why people flip tables and throw things and run off to the Yukon when it gets to be too much, but of course all that happens when the dust settles is you’re left with a new mess to deal with.
When my mother got sick, that temptation to rush to the surface took the form of the blind panic we get when a loved one is facing death: DO EVERYTHING! Biopsy it now! Chemo! Nuke it! GOGOGOGOGOGOGO. It would have been a mistake.
When she died, I held my breath and prayed my father wouldn’t sell the house immediately and disappear to the woods of Maine (he didn’t.) It would have been a mistake.
It’s been a year of slow surfacing, realizing that like many toxic substances in your body, some types of grief simply need to leach out with time. You really can’t come up before you’re ready.
Last year I gave a talk on mourning customs around the world, and I was struck by the fact that so many belief systems have a structure and framework for mourning, but Christianity, the predominant belief system many of us are most familiar with, has none. In Judaism, the mourning period is divided into the first seven days, the first 30, and the first year. The rules about what you should and should not do during each period serves to protect the grieving heart and also give permission to re-enter the new normal of their life. It’s like a decompression chart for death. Unintentionally I’ve been bobbing along on the same timeframe, getting guidance where I can.
In January, my sister surprised us with the happy news that she decided to get married earlier that day to her long-time partner and soulmate. My mom loved this guy and I knew two things: 1. She would be thrilled; and 2. She would find a way to give them a cake, because that is what my mom did.
My aunt was planning her yearly trip to my sister’s hometown of Vegas right around Easter, and sensing the same need as I did for some sort of event, managed to arrange a surprise get-together of the family this last weekend, complete with- of course- a wedding cake. You surprise us with a marriage, we surprise you with a reception. It’s what Mom would have done.
As we sat together in my cousin’s living room, laughing and sniffling, I looked around and realized this was the first time we had all gathered since my mother’s memorial service. And right then, as if an invisible hand swept by and grabbed me by the shoulders, I realized I had just popped to the surface.
There’s such a sense of relief to that first intake of air, and in that moment, as the tension you forgot was there leaches out of your muscles, nothing else matters. The sky looks different, time has passed, but you’re here, you’re still here, and sometimes, that alone is enough.
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Five months without an outfit post, and here we are with two in the same month. As I mentioned in my last My Style post, when I’m visiting a place with incredible weather and the insanely gorgeous Sonoran desert as the backyard, it’s hard not to be inspired to share. And while I usually post more about the details of and motivation behind the outfits I’m wearing, I feel like I’ve gone on and on enough in recent What I’m Wearing Now posts about how I’m finally getting back into clothing that wasn’t specifically part of my pregnancy wardrobe – which is pretty much all I’d say in this post too. Therefore, I’ll just say that this outfit is one of my current favorites – this cropped kimono is on regular rotation around here, and I’m stoked to be wearing non-maternity jeans – and leave it at that. You can find specifics on each item (and links to where to purchase them, if you’re interested) below the bottom picture.